Cupcake code!

Guess who just got accepted as a cupcakemafia rep?!
Moi!!!
I'm super duper excited to help them rep their clothes!
Here is their story..:

Being a part of the Cupcake Mafia family is much more than a trend; you are establishing a brand and promoting a lifestyle! Cupcakes live for the words they wear because they are just as powerful the words they speak! Cupcake Mafia’s purpose was to come together to make the ultimate t-shirt fashion line and ignite an intense movement of uniqueness and originality. The t-shirt represents the everyday cupcake (our name for females) looking to make their mark in a uniform world by dynamic and expressive visual self-expression. Cupcake Mafia is more than a brand, it’s a lifestyle. All of our t-shirts are for women and produced by women! Each T-shirt Smells Like Cupcakes! Yumm!

Cupcake Mafia started 3 years ago as just a dream in an office space that was the size of a closet with 5 women working everyday to see this dream manifest. With all of us having a background in fashion, we not only wanted this to be a great t-shirt brand but we wanted there to be a mission and greater cause behind our brand. Cupcake mafia girls not only love our shirts but also live the brand as a lifestyle. Our consumer’s frequently use our cupcake terminology. It’s a style of dressing and expressing oneself and is an overall persona.  The celebrities that have reached out to us in this huge movement have made our road to success a little easier by bringing their fan base along on our Cupcake Mafia journey. Even though 5 hard workers were packed into a small office, everyday was fun and worth it because we wanted to see our movement and brand grow. We started this company with 300 dollars and 30 t-shirts.

Today we would like to extend you the opportunity to join our movement. As a part of our Cupcake Mafia family, our brand is growing right in front of our eyes. Cupcake Mafia is Not only a Clothing Brand it is a Cult. As our Cupcakes make their mark through the streets of New York, Coffee Shops worldwide and Fashion Arenas throughout the U.S. will you be there taking the long journey of success with us?

Giving to a “Sweet” Cause

As a new fashion line we have also set the standard of philanthropy. The Save the Cupcake Foundation is dedicated to the research, cure, and education of Breast Cancer awareness for women. 20% of the proceeds go to our Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and other Cancer-related causes and foundations. Our dedication for the cause is due in part, to the loss of the one of the Founders loss of her grandmother to Breast Cancer. This loss greatly affected her and was her call duty. As a result she has combined her two loves of fashion and family to keep her grandmother’s memory alive.

Frequently Used Cupcake Mafia Terminology:

Muffin - Ex Boyfriend or A Person you were previously interested in.

Cupcake -  a sweet chic. or any female thats amazing has goals and dreams.

Baker’s Man –  A guy that supports the movement, or has your best interest no matter what!

For Sweet Sake - When you see something that makes your jaw drop.

Buns - Girls that are not cupcakes, that continue to Hate on what you are doing or your success
(A Bun can also be a girl that is not attractive, has a bad attitude, or just not to your liking)

Icing –  stands for many things money, cars, bling, material things,
(Use this by saying, ” Wow, Im impressed he definitely has a lot of Icing”

Our Website: www.cupcakemafiats.com
Our Twitter: www.twitter.com/cupcakemafiats.com
Our Tumblr: www.cupcakemafiats.tumblr.com
Our Facebook: www.facebook.com/cupcakemafiats
Our Instagram: Cupcakemafiats

I am also excited to give you  my code..

It's CHALL214 you guys can use my code for a discount! 

Happy Baking <3

Money

To add on to my last post... As I said before that was a confession to myself mostly but having written it out will hopefully prevent me from taking it all back and like the saying goes once on the internet always on the internet. So it's like a tattoo.
But yeah the problem I am having with money is I had a tooth extracted my 1st and 3rd molars back in january when my mom had a job and pretty damn good insurance. Well fast forward to july a week before her birthday they let her go and took away..well pretty much everything saying she didn't do her job and shit. I'll be honest...she didn't do her job...she did OTHER PEOPLES jobs..on TOP of hers a workload I feel she couldn't handle but did so without precision I am guessing. But here's the real doosey they had her train several people to do HER job. She knew what was going on my mother is perceptive but unfortunately business wise not smart because she did not look for another job even though she knew she should have. However she was and still is going to school for a BA in business.
Now with her still being out of a job that just leaves my father...who a few months back confessed to my youngest sister (who just recently turned 18) that he can't do it (support us) alone. Needless to say this coming from my FATHER whom out of my 19 years of living have only seen him cry ONCE and who's face never shows the slightest bit of any type of weakness known to man, SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF MY SOUL!
Anyway now here I am In tolerable pain from my impacted 3rd molar on my top right pushing against my other teeth and my second molar now without pain for 3 days after giving me hell for a month every night wondering how I am going to help pay if not pay for all of my important dental work.
The work i need done:
4 teeth extracted
3 wisdom teeth (2 of which are certainly impacted)
and 1 tooth (my 2nd molar on left bottom) I am positive is succumbing to infection.
2 implants ( 1 for 1st molar already extracted and another for the 2nd molar yet to be taken care of)
I remember my dentist telling me that it is better if I get it extracted to lower the risk of ANOTHER failing root canal which I had lived with for 7 seven years mind you it was infected for 5 or 6 of those 7 years but I did not feel anything because they had obviously taken away all nerves.
I wish i could've kept the tooth but I forgot to ask damnit all.
But I have much work left to do and for now my mom just wants me to get the rest of my wisdom teeth extracted to relieve my pain...
On to my other health problem since I have been waking up due to the excruciating pain in my lower left jaw I have taken I shit you not countless aleves and vicodins with NO PAIN RELIEF. I took them without caring for any serious setbacks that might occur..only to receive my new eyeliner after a friend of mine left to colorado on Tuesday take a nap and wake up with yet again I shit you not those damn eye boogers covering my eye making my vision blurry.
I washed it off and went back to sleep woke up the next morning BOTH of my eyes looked as if I had pink eye and more eye boogers (wtf is the scientific name for that shit?) I had slept all day after 5 pm (if one can call that all day) I just kept my sunglasses on because I was having mild light sensitivity I actually have photosensitivity but yet again only mild.
The i woke up this AFTERNOON with my eyes looking normal so i looked up and down to check and as I am looking down i notice red so I'm like oh fuck it hasn't cleared up yet and I pull my eyelid up to reveal what looks to me like several blood vessels broken in my eye. It looked pretty serious to me. I showed my mom who of course brushes it off my first reaction was to as her if it was because I took so many pills at once. Neither of us knew and still don't know.

I am now also having problems with financial aid... I own 1500 bucks because of something and I don't know why annnnd now I am on academic probation and receiving emails about me not going to that school anymore and I 'm thinking wtf said I wasn't going YOU are the ones that put me on academic probation and I don't even know htf that works. I have not talked to them I have been putting it off because I am afraid of what answers await my questions.
So any advice given will be greatly appreciated.

My Life

Ok...soo I have been having issues lately...
It's time for a sob story...
First off I want to say that I am happy being alive, I enjoy the smallest, simplest things it has to offer, I see beauty in almost every and anything. But I AM NOT happy with the life I live... I wish I had the resources to make it better and ease the physical,mental,and emotional pain of not only my selfish self but the pain of others. I have yet to realize what my calling in life is and I feel as if time is slipping away from me and I am taking notice to it. In doing so, I have made the TERRIBLE decision to remain a child.
By saying that I mean I have tried to neglect all/every adult responsibility possible. well responsibility in general. By the looks of it I have become a 19 year old college dropout because I allowed myself to fall behind and become lazy and uncaring.
This is my time to confess and reflect about what I have/am done/doing and I blamed others for the mistakes I made and I am to say the least ultimately ashamed of myself.
I have no job and I am not looking hard enough. For every job I find and say to myself "oh that's good!" I find 8 negative reasons as to why I SHOULDN'T go for it.
I am disgusted with myself for talking bad about people who do as I am doing... Making myself seem more important or what have you then turning around to try and soften a blow by saying we are all the same we live we die and time doesn't wait for anyone.
Now here I am in physical pain and I cannot help my family the way I would like. Instead of becoming a provider I have become a burden to my family and myself.
I have no excuses except for ... My confession is I am now openly admitting to- that I am terrified. I am terrified of being an adult. I wish to hold on to my childhood, my innocence, my responsibility free life.
I am afraid I will forever be a failure and that if I fail even just once I will be the embarrassment of my entire family. I can no longer make decisions on my own. Instead I chose to leave and push that responsibility onto others leaving me free of any consequences should any arise.
I do realize that by not trying is my greatest failure but I also admit that I feel NO failure because it was my choice to not take a chance. It was my choice to FAIL.
It is a twisted reality I understand that now.
I have two sides within me that argue against each other EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY...I have thin undying want to be an adult and I want to take on those challenges of that life. Then there is the child side that cries and says NO I WON'T DO IT! Because she fails to realize that it's time. It's time to grow up.
I'm afraid that I will be too busy to experience life...life ITSELF...to taste foods unknown to smell mountain air to interact with different people of every culture in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. I am afraid that I will be what most people are...fooled into believing that life is orthodox and structured or that my life will unknowingly become that way.
I know it's not just about where you go what you see and do. But I don't want to be like my parents working till death, wishing it would pay off and getting beaten by life everyday or working at a job I detest only to be let go without a crutch to stand on and a full body cast.
Yet it seems that I have already helped myself into that situation. I do not know how I am going to get myself out. I do not know who to talk to and I am now choosing to ignore the problems. Thus causing an even greater negative response.
I don't really know where to start with my moving forward but I know that becoming an adult won't happen overnight. I am also asking for any help and guidance anybody has for me if anybody is reading this I am hoping by some crazy chance that someone will read this and give me advice because I'm scared my life will start to go downhill at a faster rate than I can catch. Anyway ending this post with something that seems to help me when I feel like I need to live up to standards set by society.
It does not matter how slow you go, so as long as you don't stop. -Confucius-

Was I wrong?

So I think it was Monday..night.. My sister had a friend come over..she hasn't seen him in a while...ok I'm actually going to fast forward all the toooooo when they went to her room..they asked my parents parents said cool go ahead leave the door open...my parents went to sleep at around 11 maybe and 40 something mins later she told me she was going to the park with said friend and i said ok text me don't stay out too late. The park ain't far or nothing it takes all of 4 maybe 5 mins to walk there...I was watching JayFluent.. (he is sooooooo amazing!! sexy and funny..oh and of course smart...*drool* :F) for like 2 hours then i went to bed....it was like 2..maybe..and she wasn't home and still hasnt texted me... Shes done this before and came home and told me she was back and what not sooo i just fell asleep hoping she would come in soon..... My parents wake up at 4 so my dad can be at work at 5...
So I was sleeping dreaming about kpop(don't judge) and my parents come into my room NOT EVEN KNOCKING..and very loud not yelling but still oud esp for someone who wasnt even awake yet...
DAD: Kitten where's tweepea?!
MOM: Where's your sister Ceja?!
ME: I DONTJghydGhjbjhshabhuHDUSJHN She said AJIHASUJSJJJ SHE WOULDTEXET ..*grabs ipod* She didnt..
PARENST: WHERE ADSHAHDSHASDHASCGQHJDIUCASJ?! That girl! HDHABFBACBAISBHBFIABD!!!! SHE'S PUSHINGMYAOSHDABCBASJASPATIENCEHASCHFAUEFHUIAFHIAHSFIUFQIHJJADBFUADCIHASO
I get out of bed worried as fuck..and tired and pissed... My parenst start yelling about no body should be leaving the house when theyre asleep i do it all the time..because the fuckin like to lock the door on people if they arent in the house so i leave when theyre asleep to exercise and stuff...then they start saying well thats not happening again and im like
ME:UGHHH EVERYTIME SHE MESSES UP IM TO BLAME TOOO WHYYY IS THAT?!
PARENTS: YOU SHOULDVE TOLD US SHE LEFT!
I actually tell my sister she shouldnt leave all the time but she never really listens..
PARENTS: NEXT TIME WAKE US UP AND TELL US..
why so you can do what youre doing now and so my sister can never trust me again..nahhh I'll probably stick to NOT SAYING A WORD... because that would be me snitching...and I aint nobodys bitch or keeper if i dont wanna tell i wont it would do more harm than good because as much as i love these people they do tend to blow it all out of the water for no reason...
ME: O.O
They leave for work (Well my dad did my mom drops him off now) i didnt wanna be at home doing nothing cause i was pissed at her ass..getting me in trouble too.... SHIT! like 20 mins later.... she comes walking up the stairs crying idkw idc i was like
:WTF WHERE WERE YOU?! YOU IN DEEP SHIT YOU GOT MEINTROUBLEANDSHITIAMSOOOFUCKINPISSEDATYOUAHUQHJAFJHADBGYUFUIBHDCIYHQGFIOHQEFIHUVJNAUQEH89YRG42Y8RHUB2RW80YUH2UVNJFTHE FUCK KIID!
HER: what did i do...
ME:O.O
i didnt even know how to respond...i wanted to hit her sooo badly...
she called my mom and my parents chewed her a new one...we had a mini fight on FB..more like i was writing SMH on her statuses because she had the nerve to be mad at my parents...when she fucked up
Thats what pisses me off the most about her..she always insists that shes right when she does fuck up and when shes dead wrong (to her which doesnt happen often) she says shes wrong but never really gets in trouble for it YEEAAAHHHH shes ONE OF THOSE SIBILINGS...
So my mom gets home i cant even look at her let alone be near her to... and she TEARS HER ANOTHER NEW ONE! It took me 3 hours to finally fall asleep.. But yeah long story short...
She was with two other guy friends... talking about their feelings and contemplating the meaning of life and shit...so she didnt come home till she felt like it...for the rest of the summer she got US in trouble...we used to be able to go out at night...esp me..cause im 19 i dont have to listen to the effin County curfew but now my parents have given me one...wtf...WTF.WTF.W.T..F?!
Shit be not cool kiid! not cool...But yeah thats what happened now i am left to ...cause problems at home like a bitch FML!!
SOOO was i wrong for not telling if shes done it before and came home before my parents found out or am i in the ok becaue shes done it before..am i to blame at all?! IDFK.. but this sucks :(

Fashion.

Okay I'm back with some new shit...This will be a personal blog..more about my life and what not my wordpress...will be about CLOTHESSS...MAKEUP FUNNN STUFFF!! SOOOO take a look at my wordpress http://takemyswagg.wordpress.com/
It's not as boring as this one.. lol I promise I'm not a boring person..
And tomorrow i will tell you guys about what happened a few days back with my fam..Some ridiculous shit..ok i'm tired i just posted on many blogs and statuses and stuff sooo I'm tired goodnight yo!! <3

Get 20% off karmaloop

okay well i'm pretty sure you read right!  Well i recently became a representative for Karmaloop,Plundr and other things i forget... well anyway I have this code that gets you 20% off your initial buy i think and then 10% after every time you use the code...soooo If anybody wants it it's VIPBlackjack you just use the code when you checkout annnnnd bam SAVINGS! You get 10% off on Plundr Brick Harbor and Karmaloop sooo ladies and gentlemen go go go save save...SAVVVVE! :) REMEMBER THE CODE IS


VIPBlackjack and the website is http://www.karmaloop.com/index-new.aspx?rcode=VIPBlackjack

You know what....

I was just thinking about something.. Okay So I was on this website (when I googled myself don’t judge I think everyone should do it to see whats out there and not many people have my name. I found some funny things look me up Ceja Hall I have a international winery lmao jkjkjk I'm a nobody about twitter accounts and it was when I just got my twitter some time ago idk a few years maybe and I found out that the cost of my account (I'm guessing) was like 8 bucks and then I was what?! I don’t have 8 tweets. I had just got up to 1000 something I forgot and I was like this is wrong so I pressed the update button and now my account is worth *drumroll please* it’s a whopping $48.67 I know amazing right?! Please my ass… it kind of makes me wonder how much my youtube and facebook and stuff is worth …it actually makes me sad cause I know there are so many people who are like…. Internet sensations and I'm just..not I’m not feeling sorry for myself or trying to get any sympathy I'm just writing it down to fuel me to do better because you can actually make money off of shit like this and that and various other things besides I want to send messages by making videos and having people read into my soul and what not. Because I'm the type of person who wants to share my story so others can learn or someone who has been or is in the same situation can know that they aren’t the only ones. Okay well yeah that’s why oh and I just started my general psy class today and I can already see it KICKING MY ASS x__x WHHHHYYY?! ANYWAY… that’s all for real for now folks who are still reading my crap.

SOME BULLSPIT!

Okay soooo like long story short my sister pissed me the hell off not too long ago. Well she was sitting on the couch with a movie paused and was just singing and fucking around while i finished cleaning the kitchen. I got done (she had been doing that for like 10 mins) so i was like ok can we play (the movie) this now.and she didnt answer just kept fucking around and im like ok so i tried to grab the remote and she has faster reflexes sooo yuh and then i grabbed the other remote and she was like yeah,yeah i would like to see you play it with that and im just like bitch i know wtf im doing and i was like im not gonna play it so i went to youtube and was gonna play criminal minds ( i hooked up internet to our tv) she was like turn that back i was watching it. omg if there was an emoticon for my face it wouldnt even do justice i was like WTF it was paused and you were to busy playin around. She was just being a jerk... so i turned on an episode of Criminal Minds and she was searching for something to fuck up so i wouldnt be able to watch it and i just got up and walk out of the living room. I came in here and started singing. Of course i want to be alone and people just keep fuckin with me. Im thinking im gonna make a sign and put it on the outside of my door and its gonna say "My door is locked DO NOT KNOCK BECAUSE I WILL NOT ANSWER... Do not call me unless someone is dying..dont even call me to eat ill eat when everybody goes to sleep. You have been warned have a nice night. :)"  Anyway i am thinking of really doing youtube videos because idk i think i have so much to talk about and nobody to talk to. So why not rant to my ipod camera. but what im not good at is making titles to my videos... even though they get named general things and you know what ever is being talked about in the video i just make them soooo uninteresting soooo yeah... Well anyway thats all for today byyyye :)

Curly Hair :)

Ok...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes JOk...so for about 4 maybe 5 months I have been wearing my hair natural...I have only had a perm once and I was really young it did horrible on my hair. I am biracial (half black half Italian) both of my parents have curly hair so I have been told I don’t know my biological father. My mom has been relaxer free forrrrrr 6 years on and off at first then completely for 4 years. I have had a perm a couple of times I lied ( annnd I just asked my mom who is here with me doing her thing on her laptop across the living room) When I was in the 6th and 7 th grade I had straightened my hair everyday... in the 8^th I was more curly than I was straight I hated my hair but the reason I wore it curly was because we had gotten puppies and they decided they like to chew on random abnormal things like cords ,blinds ,bed sheets ,and walls and doors -__-.

Any way I had to deal and I HATED my hair because I always looked like what I referred to as a mushroom. People said it was only pretty when wet so I kept running to the bathroom every hour or so to wet dampen soak etc my hair. It wasn’t until the summer of my 8^th grade year (I think) I wanted a change before I went to high school so I got layers my aunt is a beautician and she does my hair all the time when my mom stopped my 5^th grade year after lice the 2^nd time (which she put both my and my sisters hair in ponytails and CHOPPED TEARS AND HAIR WHERE EVRYYYYWHERE) worst childhood memory ever..

Anyway I remember this Hispanic girl I talked to all the time her name was lincey and I wanted her hair sooo badly it stopped mid back all in layers it was sooooo pretty and the layers were very prominent but blended (no joke think about stairs but not blocky) so I told my aunt layers I didn’t know curly hair was supposed to be in layers anyway so it won’t look like giant pyramid when it dries.

So new cut flat hair I refused to go through what I did in 8^th grade with wetting my effin hair every chance I got… so the cycle of straightening everyday began again all the way through to my 10^th grade year… with my hair being curly a few times through the year yet again no joke like 1 week out of the whole year. I got tired of flat ironing everyday so 10^th grade I kept it straight for a week washed it Saturday flat ironed it the same day.. I got used to that routine and THEN I got tired of dry, burnt smelling same length hair.SOOOO in my junior year I started to wear it curly and it was long enough natural to put into a high bun so I did that as well I'm a hair twirler so at first I would always take it down for about 15 mins a class to play with because It calmed me ( Around the end of my freshman and my whole 10^th grade year I was self-harming)  when I began feeling anxious or nervous in anyway even just bored. More split ends came my way and finally my senior year I went half and half. Now that I have graduated I realized I want my long curly hair back….oh an extra fact through my 11^th and 12^th grade years within 6-8 months I had dyed my hair 6 times… sad I know I treated my hair terrible.

Anyway I started to see other curly girls and got inspired… by 4 wonderful women in particular and they are Andrea Lewis and Shannon Boodram  ( I hope I'm spelling things right) AKA Thosegirlsarewild on youtube and .com for their website. Annnd Shanti and Antoinette also known as Aroundthewaycurls and .com for their website as well. They used to be acurlsbf but had a name change.

Ok after watching a few vids and reading tips I was like why shouldn’t I go curly? I mean I can name reasons why I couldn’t..and in the end I asked myself why? Why? Why?!......and myself came up with this…WELL…WHY THE HELL NOT?!

SOOOO I stopped touching the flat iron and realized too little too late…I have MAJOR heat damage… I mean the left top side of my head is straight.. and now that its growing properly ive got wave now and the top isssss…just crazy curly my hair is growing I have proof because so are my nails…(I used to be a frequent nail biter too oh  habits) the thing is.. is that my hair isn’t showing length….and I'm having trouble with getting it trimmed…which is certainly needed…I can ask my aunt but soon she will be starting a new job and I might need someone who specializes in curly hair… any suggestions comments questions you know what to do… But I think the point of this post was to ask people.. Is there something wrong with being natural? Why is it so hard for other cultures to approve of curly hair? Do we need approval? Why cant more of us go natural? Is curly hair beautiful?  I used to ask these questions frequently and it like why should I care what people think my hair is my hair I REFUSE to harm it to “look good” in societies eyes Jv

Reflection Paper -___-

Ok ive been a bad blogger again dammnnniiit im sorry..! I just when i wana write some thing i start to think is anybody really gonna care or understand then im just like ehhh i guess i wont...I'm also thinking about writing fics. Theres this site called AsianFanFics.com and I LOVE IT.. If you have one add me LucidDreamer
any way i was doing a reflection paper for my Psy180 class annnnnnnd its totally wrong of whatever but i thought it would make a good topic.. its about my best friend again... and its long as fuck because i tend to talk a lot anyway.. here it is... I have a friend. We’ve known each other for 10 years and she’s never had a boyfriend. She’s also older than me so I consider her my older sister. When she was telling me the good news (about her getting a boyfriend) I was excited. We had talked about a change in our friendship long before that ever came about. I have had boyfriends in the past and we always talked about how I’m always leaving my boyfriend for her. I would always say isn’t that how it should be until I get married? But then again I should never feel l like I have to choose. We would always talk about the other girls that would completely forget about their friends and only worry about the person they were dating at the time.

We always said that we would never be like that. So a few weeks ago when I spent the night over her house she told me she was going to go somewhere with him and that she thought I should come I declined because I didn’t want to look like a third wheel. Of course she said I wouldn’t but I told her no matter how you put it in words I will always look like third wheel in that situation besides we’re not going to do anything here and I might just go swimming all day anyway. With that said he showed up and I met him they left and came back around 1. I though he was just going to drop her off.

Instead he came upstairs into the house and it made everything very awkward for me because they stayed in the living room while I stayed in her room. I wasn’t sure if I should close the door or if I should go out there with them. I didn’t want to intrude so I stayed in her room leaving a few times to go get something to eat use the bathroom etc. I went out there the first time and noticed the TV was off and I didn’t search for them in fear of what I might find but I yelled out from the kitchen and said something about crackers to see if they were still even in the house and Nina yelled back oh really so that’s when I knew they were in the living room.

I didn’t want to interrupt anything else so I went outside she asked where I was going and I just said to sit on the stairs. She lifted herself up but Mitch quickly pulled her back down on the couch and she laughed so I left. I can admit I was upset for being put in that situation because I feel if she wanted to spend more time with him then they should’ve stayed out. I had so many mixed emotions I was becoming irritable at the most. When I sat on the stairs it took her a while to come out. She only came out because her mom got home. This upset me the most. I was angry. FUMING. But I DID NOT let it show.

When her mom came home she opened the door while I and her mom were talking and her hair was sort of messy. She had this look on her face that made it look like she was guilty of something. I whispered ”Why do you look like you’ve done something wrong?” and she looked at me as if I had sprouted 6 heads. She proceeded to ask me what I was talking about and I said “Kid come on I’ve known you half your life…You look guilty...Is Mitch not supposed to be here?” She was like no I'm fine. Her mom went into the house and saw him there.

They greeted each other and we all sat outside on the stairs excluding her mom who was inside watching basketball. We sat outside and I put in both headphones because Mitch and Nina were talking and it wasn’t something I could but into I felt then Nina asked me a question. I answered her and Mitch had asked me something and I was surprised he did because he really never even acknowledged me. He said some stuff here and there. I kept one ear bud out and entered in the conversation when I had input but the conversation was always centered around Mitch instead of Nina or even just general conversation.

He then asked her I didn’t want to speculate that he whispered even though I feel he did. Because his body language made it look like he only wanted her to hear he leaned closer toward her and I'm guessing asked her if she was hungry, because Nina looked at me and asked me if I wanted to go with then to get something to eat. I agreed even though I didn’t have money (Nina knew this) I thought we were going to McDonald’s I could get full off of a kids meal. She left to get her stuff and Mitch and I stayed outside. I asked him where we were going and he told me the melting pot I had never heard of that and he saw the confusion on my face because he said “fondue?” I scrunched my face and we had a small conversation about it.

I made it obvious I didn’t have money and wanted to change my mind. But I had already said I was hungry and by me saying I didn’t have cash I had hoped they would change the destination. But my plan had failed because we got into the car and not soon after we were at the melting pot. I sent Nina a message asking who was paying because I didn’t know what to do and she asked Mitch. He said half and half and I knew it was because he didn’t want to pay for me to me it was a logical answer because he didn’t even offer to pay the whole way. I understood.  And Nina offered to pay for everyone he insisted half and half and kept saying it’s expensive.

Which made me feel even worst about tagging along. I felt like the worst friend of the year. She said it was ok and we continued with dinner. I noticed that she didn’t really laugh at the stuff I would say and we both have a sense of humor that doesn’t always transfer but WE understand each other EVERYTIME we make a joke.

 I could see she was stifling laughs and would laugh at the driest joke he told. I wasn’t rude or mean in any way even when he smacked my hand trying to be funny while I was playing with one of my ear buds I guess he was trying to knock it out of my hand. Nina laughed but I just stood there. I felt it was very disrespectful and I was hurt Nina didn’t say anything. I felt as if she wasn’t being herself. This made me very distant in their conversations. I felt as if I would make a joke there would be that awkward silence so I just giggled at some of the stuff they said and mostly listened to my music. I would try to turn my attention somewhere else when he would kiss her because that would cause people to stare and that embarrassed me a little too. Mostly they stared because they are an interracial couple, then they would stare at the fact that he was constantly kissing her. I felt a few stares and made eye contact with a few people whom I just smiled at and turned away again and tried to start up a conversation ewe could all join into. In the end it would always be just two of us talking either Nina and I were in a conversation or it was Mitch and Nina. We finished went back to Nina’s and I thought he was leaving so I prepared to say goodbye and he turned off the car and walked in with us.

Needless to say I stayed in her room and they stayed in the living room. He spent the night and left early morning when I woke up she asked me how I felt about him I tried to be as honest as I could without sounding like I completely hated him or as if I was jealous. She acted like she was surprised that I was feeling like a third wheel. And I pointed things out for her and she sounded as if she was making excuses. I just agreed to disagree because no matter how many times I told her I was a third wheel she would say I wasn’t. I had told her there would be a change in our friendship and to me the change depends on her if she wants to spend more time with Mitch then go ahead and if not then go ahead. I don’t mind either way but I won’t be a third wheel.

It’s been 3 weeks since we have talked I'm not sure why but I feel like I know why. I never hide my feeling from her but this time I feel as if I kind of did. I have recently talked with her and the atmosphere is kind of awkward and whenever she brings up Mitch in a conversation I listen for a while then switch to something else because I know that if I let her she'll keep going on and on. 

And there it goes...hahah all i did was copy and paste obviously so when im writing this im like lmao funny like i had super human speed XD anyway ill do a double post cause im hungry right now sooo YUH.. UNTIL LIFE STOPS :)